There are plenty of great men out there. I think I am friends with a few of them. They are hard working, driven, growing in their relationships with the Lord, love their mamas, and take care of their friends. Now, I didn't say they were great to date (hahaha) but they are good men. The reason I am differentiating them being good men from being good companions is because I believe most of them have great potential, but aren't ready to become someone's husband. This is because they are young and ambitious, but have not began to practice the habits of settling down.
Men need to experience life before they settle down because most of them have a one-track mind. Tunnel vision is so real and we all know most guys simply can not multi-task. This means they can't fathom pursuing their career and a woman at the same time. (I've been told this by a guy before when I inquired about his disinterest in committing) Along with this, men are natural born providers. They like to build themselves up to a place where they can provide, and if they don't feel accomplished to a certain extent that they are comfortable with, it's sometimes difficult to add a woman to that situation.
You may be thinking what about those couples that meet and grow together? They are awesome examples of people who are ready and willing. Yet, the key here is that a man WILL NOT settle down until he's ready. He has to be in a place where he is so in love, it is worth him giving up ALL other options and submitting to a life where he can no longer just think about himself, but he must think about another person and their future family too.
Now, some guys agree with my sentiments, and others would disagree and say they only keep searching until they have found "the one". They argue that there is no right time, it's just about meeting the right person. True, but I'm a firm believer in timing. My dad told me when he was younger, he didn't think he would ever get married. Now being married 25 years and counting, he told me he knows meeting my mom was a Godly thing. He didn't see many godly marriages when he was growing up, but when the lord showed him my mom that one day in church, he said he thought to himself, "that's going to be my wife!" He knew the lord would keep them together, since it was him the brought them together. He said it was great timing because he was secure in his relationship with the lord. He had established himself in his career and was ready to start the next phase of his life, which was family.
You may think you're the perfect woman or man for someone, but if they are not in the place in their life where it's time to take that leap...let him or her go! It's probably not the time and you may not be their fit. Why do we see guys leave a girl and then less than a year later engaged to someone else? He found the one and he was finally ready! A real man does not let what he really wants pass him by! They are going to get and have what they choose. So if you are not being pursued, your best bet is that he doesn't want you. They are resilient. That is why we see men out here pursuing the same woman for years even when she turns him down. They have the capacity to work until they get what they want, knowing if they make the girl tired of them asking for a date, she may just falter and give them a chance. These are the best stories because the woman gets an amazing guy she never thought she'd even want, and the guy gets the woman of his dreams.
In closing, ladies give these men a break! Better yourself, pursue your passions, seek the lord and live your life! Stop worrying all the time about relationships and situations with men that are out of your control! Wait on God for your mate. Men keep growing, learning and maturing. Know that we haven't given up on you, you are amazing that's why we ladies can't get enough of you! You have the ability to be great husbands, fathers, and friends, but it's all up to you. Start stepping up when you know you need to. Be the role model you didn't see! Be a better role model than the ones you did see! The world is waiting on you to stand up. Seek the lord he will give you all the direction you need.
Love you ,
Gab
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