To the Man I Love

I was at a friends birthday party and a couple of our friends were talking about which one of my blogs was their favorite. They referred to an old blog titled, "Men Are the Best Things Walking Planet Earth." We laughed as they said that was the last good blog I wrote about men, That is so not true but I see where they're coming from. Most of my  blogs deal with how men wrongfully deal with women and my godly advice on how to get over being wronged. I rarely brag about the good men of the world who are faithful, dependable, and trustworthy. Today, I want to give kudos to the men that take care of their responsibilities, and who exemplify love. Now, lets keep it real, there is a large majority of women who complain about the lack of good men in the world and I cater to those women. Today, instead of giving you hope after heartbreak,I am giving you ladies and gents a different kind of hope. There are plenty of good men out there ladies, and men if you're reading and you know you're a good man keep up the good work! I notice you!

In my most recent dating experience, I've seen my pursuer have many of the qualities below. He has not been perfect, (what man is?) but he has a good heart that is definitely worth appreciating.So, I am not trying to paint you a Disney character dream guy with my list below, I am just pointing out the best qualities in good men. The men who we see put in the effort and consistency. My list consist of good qualities in men I've seen in various dating relationships, things friends and family have said they love about their men and the top qualities I think we all agree on make us fall in love with our guy.

Good men here is a list of  things we love about you:

• Strength
•  Hard work
• Consistency
• Spirituality 
• The way you pursue
• Faithfulness
• Humor
• Playfulness
• Resistance to growing up/youthfulness( lol)
•  Logic -you are a lot less emotional with your decision making which is a good balance for those of who are super emotional in relationships
•  Interesting hobbies ; sports, WWE, culinary, photography,gaming etc.
• Smell (cologne)
• The way you walk
• How you entertain your friends
• How your so into us
• Your love for our cooking

The reason I have such hope in men, is because  I have a good father. He is consistent , dependable, supportive, and loving. I can't remember a time he has let me down and this has provided me with a trust that really secured me as a woman. My dads good godly example and my understanding of what a loving father God is has shaped me and my view of men. His example was a guide for how I date and even a template for the types of men I surround myself around as friends. I expect a certain level of treatment and respect. Many of my male friends have qualities like my dad. They are great guys and even better men in my eyes because they spoil the heck out of me.  A good dad gave me a good optimistic perspective on men that leaves me hopeful and with a positive outlook. I haven't dated a bunch of losers so I am not tainted by a ton of poor experiences.  I trust God that no matter what society looks like, there is a good man who will marry me and he will be Gods best.   We need you GOOD men to stay the course and raise your sons to be good men like you!

If you are a good man "in the making", meaning you only have about two or three of the qualities on my list STEP UP BABY. You are aware of your weaknesses..  just make a decision to grow! If you didn't see good examples of godly men  and you're only teacher has been television or music REWIRE you're brain! Unless your role model is Bill Cosby on his family show, Barack Obama, or someone else outstanding with high morals, most of the male figures in popular media are not the best examples to model yourself after. You've got to surround yourself with upstanding men and read your word. The word of God and the men defined within its pages gives you the best model for being the man God desires you to be. The bible allows you to be strengthened with what you need to reach your full potential. You will be blessed and those around you will be blessed.

Men I speak these blessings over your life .. 

Ist Corinthians 16:13-14 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

Psalms 119:9-16

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. ...

Psalms 112:1-10

Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his commandments! His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever. Light dawns in the darkness for the upright; he is gracious, merciful, and righteous. It is well with the man who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice. ...

Love You , Mean it!
Gabby


P.S hey boo <3

How to Love Yourself

My biggest issue with society today, well with women in society today is their lack of self-love and the extreme presence of low self-esteem. I get so mad when I am hanging with the guys and they say, “Yeah I did her wrong, but she will always come running when I call.” They make these statements about women they’ve dated, women they know they’ve got on a yoyo string. They throw these type of women away when they're done using them, then string them along right back into their arms when they get bored. When they find a girl more interesting, they throw them back into the sea of single-hood broken and bitter. These girls who are “yo-yoed” refuse to move on, declining to see the truth about the man their addicted to. We sit in with our friends, on reality TV, its in the music and its sickening to me! These women don’t love themselves enough to move on. No one told them when they were growing up how a man should treat them! No one told them they were beautiful and precious! Many never saw a healthy relationship so they settle. Why do we do that ladies? If we know a man is doing us wrong why do we stay? Why don’t we love ourselves enough to demand better?

Answer #1 Lack of self-worth

If you don’t know your worth you will sell yourself short in everything. On the job, in a relationship, with your dreams, you will never demand what you deserve from yourself or others if you have no understanding of what you’re worth. Yet, you won’t know your worth if you lack a relationship with God. The creator is the only one that can tell you how valuable you are. Valuable enough to die for. When you read the scriptures the inspired word of God you learn how precious he sees you and his directions are for your benefit not for your oppression. Seek him and in essence you will be seeking your true self. How powerful is that? You’ll find out you’re a force to be reckoned with through Christ strength!

Answer #2 Impatience

We all know anything worth having is worth working and waiting for. Remember when we were kids and we couldn’t wait for dinner time? Our moms would say be patient it’s almost ready. When the meal was done it was so satisfying and you realize it was so worth the wait. I like to look at dating in this way. The best relationship is not quick and easy like a frozen dinner, it’s the tasty slow cooked meal.

Answer #3 Fear

When we don’t love ourselves or don’t realize the fathers love for us, (which his perfect love CAST OUT FEAR… ) when we don’t rest in his love and we allow fear to consume us we make wrong decisions. We fear that we won’t ever find a love worth having, because we think we don’t deserve it. YOU DESERVE A GREAT LOVE. Welcome it to come to you! Don’t fear that what you have is all you’ll ever get. In my life the men who I cut off and try to come back, if I realize they aren’t worth a second chance I don't give them one. I don’t fear that they will be the last to pursue me. I trust that better is available and I will have it!

Answer #4 Follower

YOU ARE A DARN FOLLOWER. Your girls have boyfriends, everyone on TV has boyfriends, even your little sister has a man so you refuse to be the last one single. You settle so that you’re in the “in crowd” and not the third wheel anymore but the bad relationship you're staying in is killing you! This generation needs to learn to stand alone! I’m sick of people following fads to fit in. When I was younger I practiced being the odd ball because I never wanted to fall trap to peer pressure. I was made fun of and laughed at but the ones who laughed at me for being such a “pious”  Christian, inbox me for prayer today! They respect the fact that I never changed, I stood up for my faith and didn’t waiver even when it was hard.

MORAL OF THE STORY LOVE YOURSELF! REQUIRE MORE AND BETTER! Demand Respect!  How can someone else love you if you don't first love yourself?! Have a standard, DO NOT waiver. Listen to God. #theend



God loves you,
Gabby

Love is NOT enough

I was talking to my sister in the car and she said, girl in a relationship love aint enough. It seems like at this age Tina Turners song “Whats Love Got to Do With It”, means more than ever. Really is love between two people all it takes to make a relationship work? Many people would say no. Being in love is nice but without the work, being "in love" means nothing.   You know faith without works is dead.

How can you expect the fruit of love to grow if a relationship is never watered? I used to tell my boyfriend this all of the time. Just because we’re in love (emotionally attached) doesn't mean the work is over. As a woman there is a plethora of things I expect my man to do in order to make me feel loved because I am complicated. Haha! I know I am but I also understand that I am worth it and he’s got to realize that. The best things in life usually take work to get. Duh!  I also cant expect to be the only one receiving love I've got to do some work as well and actively love.

Have you ever picked a diamond off of a tree outside of your house? No they aren't as easy accessible or valuable as what you can pick off a tree outside of your house. You know what is easy to pick, everywhere? Leaves.  No one cares about leaves. Why? They are not rare or sparkly. We rake them, burn them, and can’t wait for them to all blow away in the spring. How do people search for diamonds? They tear up the earth looking for them. Millions of dollars are spent trying to excavate them out of the ground. People spend tons of money on them and there are jewelers who spend their life devoted to this profitable business.

My point is, be like the diamond. Have a standard that sets you apart from the rest. You are the prize. Its not enough for someone to love you they need to put in the work to get you and keep you. If they see the value in you they will do whatever it takes to get you and keep you around. Love yourself enough to demand that.

Let me break down what I mean when I say love isn't enough.

True love requires action.

Example number one; John 3:16 For God so Loved the world he GAVE his only sons..

Jesus sacrificed for love.

I Corinthians 13 describes the actions of love being patience, kindness, self control etc.

Love is NOT just a feeling.

Love takes time, effort, responsibility.
The bible even commands husbands to love their wives like Christ loved and died for the church. Whoa! My man should never complain when I ask for a bite of his food lol That's small, in comparison to the beautiful love Christ showed us.

SOooooo, if you love someone show it! If the one you love has a particular love language learn it. If you need more love express it, kindly.  I don’t care if you’ve never seen a healthy loving relationship or never practiced it before start today! Do the opposite of what you’ve seen if it was negative and make the choice to be better than the misconstrued depictions of love displayed in the media.

Gab

Grass Ain't Greener...

The other day I saw a meme that had the term "F$&@ Boy" and photo of a guy that looked like he was a mothers worst nightmare. Under the picture the person detailed all of the qualities in the type of male that qualified to be this derogatory term. Girls were commenting on the post talking about their experiences with these type of  guys. I was laughing because ladies, sometimes we literally allow the worst things to happen to us because of "love". We let men get away with bad behaviors because we want to be loved so bad or the situation is comfortable. The wrong guy will never love you the right way so why keep going back for a watered down, less than satisfactory type of love ? When a man shows you who he is believe him. That's such a bad habit to lower your standards in order to prevent loneliness or whatever else you may be feeling.

Before I dive in let me give ..Kudos to the men who are nothing like the meme. I even have some wonderful guy friends in my life who I know aren't this type of guy deep down inside. They have good hearts, are dependable and have great goals they're accomplishing.Yet, even they admit although they aren't bad guys, they've had thier moments of being terrible boyfriends and lovers. They blame it on poor examples in thier life , media, thier youth or immaturity. They informed me only God and growth changed them. The thing that stuck with me from these convos was that they knew they were wrong but kept treating women poorly because the women allowed them too. The grass ain't greener on the other side of patience ladies. Stepping over to the side of impatience, where love is rushed and based on emotion is pointless. You'll be left empty and unsatisfied. Men rise to the standard you set.

I thought to myself no man is perfect but how many times have I settled or allowed someone to treat me less than I deserve? I normally pride myself in being treated with high regards and spoiled too but not to the level that I obviously desired if I am still single. If I'm single my past relationship obviously have been subpar if they weren't worth staying in. So I thought about my last few dating experiences. Especially after all my "exes" hit me up in the same weekend seeing if they could reel me back in I suppose . It was so weird, the timing of it all but I legit asked myself could I go back to any of them ? .... NO. Logically I couldn't let myself go back knowing I needed more and deserved better, a better relationship at this point in thier lives they were incapable of giving. They were guys with good hearts , ok intentions but terrible effort. I'm not looking for lackluster lazy attempts. I was suddenly sad because men don't realize a good thing until it's gone but immediately after I sulked, my next emotion was happiness! I was happy I was no longer bondage to mediocre relationships. I was happy I was single and focused on my goals. I was relieved that I felt like I was obeying God by staying single until I felt him leading me to let the man whose just right for me, court me to marriage.

I share this to say. One,there's joy in singleness, God says it's a gift. Two, again, the grass ain't greener on the other side. Wait for pure unadulterated love.

It was not easy getting to this point. I had to slap myself back into reality and say girl, " your smart , beautiful, ....etc." Why would you settle or take less what you deserve. I looked around me and saw all of the unsatisfied women in the world who are stuck in relationships that weigh them down and don't thrive them. I promised myself that wouldn't be me.


I had to love myself more. I encourage you to do the same. I had  to honor God with my body by loving it enough to not give it fully to a man that's not my husband. I had to find patience the right man would come in a world that wants everything popcorn speed. I had to connect to the vine, talk to Jesus about my future and understand marriage is a gift from him that glorifies his kingdom. How dare I matchmake myself to someone he has for someone else. Isn't that like  practicing adultery?

Anyway..

Ladies get rid of the "Fboys" wait for the man after Gods heart that's for you.

One love and May his peace be with you !
Gab