.. “ She is giving me the side eye saying she ain’t staying over here,
each and every time I let her down like
I didn’t care..She said she thought I was different but she’s clear… she ain’t
got nothing good to say but this, you ain't ****” –TREY SONGZ
When I was in college, it was cool for guys to dress well, have
an extensive vocabulary, carry books around campus, be the head of multiple
organizations, and basically look like the perfect guy. But when they got around their
friends, they would joke around and say, “You know I ain’t ***t” and laugh. I
would be listening in on the guys conversation shocked. I know they were kidding
around, but were all of them really joking? Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks, according to scripture.
I wondered why these men had such great presentation and wonderful reputations. They looked so established, and on paper they definitely were, but among their friends what was in their heart was truly exposed. They were similar to a holiday fruit cake disguised with red dye and cream cheese frosting. It looks like a red velvet on the outside but when you bite its nasty fruit cake. It was as if they felt it was okay to perpetrate who they knew they needed to be, and maybe wanted to be, but didn’t take the responsibility of actually being what they pretended to be. I viewed them as ambitious, driven, intelligent, responsible, and they might have very well had these traits, but they were only utilized from “9-5”. Like a job they were on their best behavior to reel you in, but after they’ve hooked a girl they were wolves in sheep’s clothing. Now, that sounds extreme, but some of their transformations were extreme! I mean some of the guys treated girls so bad, and a lot of girls simply let them, despite seeing the signs that they were up to no good. Both parties were lost looking for satisfaction from a person who could never give them what they really needed. The girls needed self-esteem and the guys needed a true identity, one not painted by the players and rap megastars with exaggerated lives on TV.
I wondered why these men had such great presentation and wonderful reputations. They looked so established, and on paper they definitely were, but among their friends what was in their heart was truly exposed. They were similar to a holiday fruit cake disguised with red dye and cream cheese frosting. It looks like a red velvet on the outside but when you bite its nasty fruit cake. It was as if they felt it was okay to perpetrate who they knew they needed to be, and maybe wanted to be, but didn’t take the responsibility of actually being what they pretended to be. I viewed them as ambitious, driven, intelligent, responsible, and they might have very well had these traits, but they were only utilized from “9-5”. Like a job they were on their best behavior to reel you in, but after they’ve hooked a girl they were wolves in sheep’s clothing. Now, that sounds extreme, but some of their transformations were extreme! I mean some of the guys treated girls so bad, and a lot of girls simply let them, despite seeing the signs that they were up to no good. Both parties were lost looking for satisfaction from a person who could never give them what they really needed. The girls needed self-esteem and the guys needed a true identity, one not painted by the players and rap megastars with exaggerated lives on TV.
For the guys whose transformations were less drastic, they were just young and hadn’t met the girl
worth getting right for. They were not ready for a relationship and maybe
rightfully so! In college many guys are not looking for serious relationships
or marriage because it’s probably not the right time. Yet, the “ain't s**t”
mentality was used as a cop out when things got too serious. This category of
guys didn’t intend to dog girls out, but they didn’t carefully tend to their hearts
either. It's young and passionate love's mistake. They think it’s all about the “mushy”
feelings and not intentional loving actions which involves sacrifice. When the
guy couldn’t figure out how to ‘get right’ and was not ready to grow, he’d use the
excuse, “well, you know I ‘aint ****, so why are you mad when I do what I do?” He would be thinking, well if I tell her this
statement, I’m not required to live up to any expectations. It takes the
pressure off the guys, throwing the ball in your court. Men hate pressure,
stress, nagging, and anything overly-emotional. Most things are cut and dry to
them. If they aren’t at a maturity level to own up to their actions it just won’t
happen. YOU can’t change a man, only God and the guys desire to be better for
himself can.
MY POINT IS I am out of college now, and I still hear some MEN use
this I'm no good phrase! I hate this idea of a man telling himself he is no
good when God sees him as so much more. I have had many men tell me, “my father
was worthless, he didn’t stick around so how can I?” I have heard, “I never saw a good marriage
or healthy relationship therefore I don’t know how to be in one” or “I learned
from TV, or my crazy no good uncle about love. I had to figure it out that’s why
I don’t know how to be monogamous”. This
makes me sad because although the way we are brought up can greatly affect our
love lives, we can choose to be better than what we experienced!
It is simple …let
me show you.
1st Corinthians 13:4-7…
4 Love (Gabby)
is patient and kind. Love (Gabby) is
not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It (She) does not demand it's (her)
own way. (She) It is not irritable,
and.. keeps no record of being wronged.6 It (She) does not
rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love (Gabby)
never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every
circumstance.
Do you see how powerful this is?! This makes sure that I am loving to whomever I’m in a relationship with. Although, I had great examples of love and godly marriage, a great relationship is not based on what I experienced as a child. It is up to me! I am so spoiled
sometimes, and stubborn. I love to have MY way, but is that true love? No! This
verse is. I choose to act like what it describes with GODS HELP!
Ladies and gentlemen
YOU ARE MORE THAN WHAT SOCIETY TELLS YOU. YOU ARE MORE THAN WHAT YOUR PARENTS DID AND
BETTER THAN THE PARENT OR PERSON THAT HURT YOU. MEN, YOU ARE POWERFUL USE IT
FOR THE GREATER GOOD, NOT TO PERPETUATE THE NEGATIVE STIGMAS. DESIRE MORE FROM
YOURSELVES!
YOU
ARE LOVED AND CAN BE LOVE!
XO,
Gabby
