Who remembers this song? … “If that boy don’t love you by now…he will never ever, ever, ever love you.” Ciara woke up a lot of women when she detailed the limbo many relationships get into when they just aren’t working anymore. If he doesn’t love you, won’t marry you, doesn’t speak of a future with you, then he is probably just not that into you. He either has his own issues he’s dealing with, another woman, or he never really wanted you. He wanted the consistent intimacy, or the ‘kicks and giggles’, nothing more and nothing less. There are thin lines we tip-toe when we stay trying to make a relationship work, uncertainty AND insanity. Are you working for something valuable and you are uncertain of the outcome because this is just another bump in the road for you and your companion? Or are you are the one foolishly holding on to something that should be a thing of the past? (Which is insane! Yet, aren’t we all insane sometimes? We don't have to be..its a choice)
Some relationships are worth keeping and you know it just takes good 'ole hard work to make it last. It is healthy to have a relationship that goes through different seasons (good and bad/not abuse though) as long as you know at the end of the day love is a choice and what you both have is worth fighting for. (Especially in a marriage) Some relationships are just dead ends but you have to be the judge of that.
Some relationships are worth keeping and you know it just takes good 'ole hard work to make it last. It is healthy to have a relationship that goes through different seasons (good and bad/not abuse though) as long as you know at the end of the day love is a choice and what you both have is worth fighting for. (Especially in a marriage) Some relationships are just dead ends but you have to be the judge of that.
It can be so hard to see clearly when to leave or stay when you are in a relationship due to a few factors.
1. If you are too emotionally invested, sometimes you just can’t think clearly to walk away. Your heart and brain have a disconnect that you can’t reattach when you are so emotionally invested, even though you logically know you need to let them go. If you’ve slept with the person, most times that can make you stay way longer than you should because you fall in love with how they make you feel physically, but you don’t REALLY love the person, so you stay. INSANE.
2. You are desperate. You see the person is bad for you but you don’t care because you just want someone. Everything inside of you said walk away early on, but you stayed. Then you invested so much time and energy...you just hate to put in so much work for nothing. It will never work out boo, walk away. Desperation never leads anyone to true long lasting love.
3. He/she is a great person but something is missing and you’re not sure how to move forward. Well, then you’ve got to evaluate yourself and the reasons you are with that person. Maybe you are scarred from a previous relationship and have an issue looking at your new relationship as something different. You aren’t ready to move on. You could be overcoming trauma from your youth (divorce, domestic abuse, etc.) which affects your current relationship habits. You might be immature, and the time may not be right to be serious with anyone. Whatever it is that is keeping you from progressing should be considered when you have another life being affected by your actions. Work on self before you build with another.
4. You may not actually be in a relationship.... but a situationship. If you are with someone who has no plans with you and is not initiating a certain goal to attain with you (like uhhhh MARRIAGE)... RUN. These types want all the benefits of having you without the title or commitment. They will use you and dump you empty and broken if you let them. Many guys/girls who trick people into staying with empty promises and believable lies try to string on people so that they will conveniently stay. Don't stay. It will hurt you worse and you could be missing out on other great people to date.
5.You have unrest or no peace. Life isn't a cake walk but God calls us to live in peace. If red flags are signaling and all the bells and whistles are ringing, GET OUT! You can leave and trust that if it's meant to be, they will come back 10x better or you will find another new person who's 10x better. A great relationship is not perfect. It is finding someone who's imperfections you can deal with. You can love them through it all, making you both better people in the end. Yet, if you have no peace you've NOT found your partner in this crazy life..don't add to the crazy. GET OUT !
ALRIGHT,
LOVE YOU
JESUS SAVES
..GAB
