Ok, I'm going to tell my business today.Recently, I was invited to Chicago to have a short panel interview with Steve Harvey about my dating life all because of this blog and my mom (thats a story for another day lol). God must want me to continue to write because I've received so many random messages about how what you've read in my blog has uplifted you..so I will keep telling my personal stories!
Lets get into it.
I finally went through his phone. His is the name I will use for the nice guy I was so excitedly dating. I was the girl that said, "OH NO I WOULD NEVER GO THROUGH A MAN'S PHONE." I AM SO TRUSTING. When I say I trust you, I mean that I trust you. I am completely and utterly shocked if you break that trust because I expect the treatment I give. If I'm available for you to trust, you should do the same. Honestly, two can play the [playing the field] game, so if I choose to rip apart my "game" card then so should you.
Now, I wasn't going through his phone because I suspected cheating, I just wanted to know was what was in his head. I wanted to know more about what was occupying his time or why he reacted they way he did to certain situations. I knew his friends, history with ex girlfriends to a minimal, and other important info, but I just had this strong need to scroll. (haha) I cared a whole lot about him or I would've never touched his phone. When I scrolled, I saw a few names of girls I didn't recognize and conversations I didn't recall him telling me about. (Duh why would he tell me he was having casual convos with other girls. I would get upset.) I learned through my snooping that there was a foundation missing that needed to be built through proper communication/understanding. Why didn't I know about these people? Did he want to continue to play the field? Why wasn't I secure enough in what we had to leave the phone alone? Was he simply texting new friends and it wasn't a big deal? Why don't we talk more about our daily occurances? Most issues we had stemmed from our lack of talking about the "important things", which led to me looking at his phone. The important things include thoughts like what do we agree is respectful or disrespectful to the relationship, and so on...
WHY AM I SHARING THIS?
I need the fellas to be enlightened:
FELLAS: Women are detectives. There is nothing we can't and won't find. The only reason you THINK we don't know is because we are waiting for the right time to bring it up. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BEING GREAT DATERS, HUSBANDS, and FATHERS, but IT IS ALL UP TO YOU! You must know when you are ready to be monogamous and faithful. Don't string a girl along if you know she is worth more. Don't add to her heart breaks, and don't be her next mistake. My dad told me when he was ready to get married he knew he was ready and behaved in a manner that exemplified that. TWENTY-FIVE years later he is happily married and still feels as though he made the right choice.
LADIES: I am sharing this because honestly, we should NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH A MAN'S PHONE. MEN are not perfect (neither are we), but with you they should be willing to provide enough security in the relationship where you do not need to touch his phone. Going through a phone is a sign that there is an issue within yourself that must be resolved or a need to re-evaluate why you are with that person. The issue with yourself could be that you already know you should leave, but decide to stay 'stuck' anyway. Maybe he really is a great guy and you're not secure enough to think you deserve someone to treat you right. Another issue could be that you are holding on to your past terrible dating experiences and are bringing that baggage into the new relationship.
What I learned through that situation was that God places people in our lives for a reason, season, or a lifetime. We must carefully understand where he has placed the people we meet. God speaks to us all the time, but impatience causes us not to listen. Often people dating only concern themselves with who makes them happy, how they make them happy, and are very selfish with their relationship. Dating has become a past-time, and not a means to finding a spouse or mate. There are so many broken people because it is no longer dealt with responsibly. It is ok to stay single until you are ready to date with intentions to marry. It keeps you from treating someone as if they are disposable. Date the way you want to be treated, and expect God to bless you for treating his children with love. It's also ok to fail and make mistakes, but always make an effort to grow from them.
In the mean time SCROLL ON LADIES...TRUST YOUR MAN BUT BE SMART AS WELL..
HAHAHAHA
With that being said... see you next blog.
LOVE YOU,
GABS
