I remember sitting in a class in high school and a student began to make fun of me. She talked about my overly modest clothes and soft spoken demeaner. I didn't flirt with the guys, I was a "goody two shoes", but I didn't mind it at all. Not one bit. She said to me "I bet I will get married before you do. Who would want a girl like you? I bet guys would never talk to you!" Her words stung slightly. I mean I've watched all of the great romantic films that give girls a dream of a fairytale love. Hearing this mean girl's words made me wonder..WHAT IF I NEVER FIND THE ONE? Long story short, she gained a reputation of being 'fast' and I was still the "good girl". I knew I didn't need to change one bit because the values my mother taught me would protect me. Ironically, I was the girl the guys called "wifey", with my overly modest clothes and she was popularly used as their short term experience. She also never gained a title, no one even called her their girlfriend.
Now, I was not confused as to why this girl made her comments, nor was I confused as to why boys tore her viewpoint of me down. She was under the impression that parading her body around like a piece of meat in high school would get a guy to love, respect, adore, and eventually marry her. I knew physical attraction might get a guy's attention, but it surely won't keep him. Like anything that needs to grow, there must be deep roots in order for it to flourish. A flowers lovely petals are the result of deep roots that can not be seen. In order for a relationship to grow, there has to be something more than physical attraction. YOU HAVE TO HAVE SUBSTANCE and so does the fellow you decide to entertain. That is why guys liked me. It wasn't because I was the prettiest girl, it was because they knew I had qualities that would make me a good wife and mother. I am a woman with substance.
You might be wondering, "Hey Gabby?..Where is your man since you know so much?" LOL Well like the flowers need time to grow, the ONE guy who is suppose to admire me hasn't grown into the realization of where his rose is located yet (hahaha). I am not worried about getting married, finding the one, or proving to anyone that I'm date-able. All I can do is continue to give God the glory as his created being. I am sure that my life is in God's hands. I want to encourage you, if you are longing for your "Notebook", "Titanic", "A Walk to Remember", "Bonnie and Clyde" or "Cinderella" love story, then let it go and let God. He is the best writer of a love story and it will be a realistic one. Wait for your story to unfold with me. If you have found the one (lucky you) share this blog with one of your single friends! xoxoxo hahah!!!
Love you,
Gabs
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Monday, August 25, 2014
Love Jones
I sat and watched the movie "Love Jones" all the way through for the first time yesterday. I was slightly irritated while watching this film. It wasn't a fairy-tale at all and maybe that's why I didn't like it. The story-line was way too real and probably had similar situations to many of our dating relationships. There were so many ups and downs.... nothing in life is really the way movies, books, reality shows , etc. portray them to be. Now, I'm not trying to dissect the movie and what I liked or disliked, but there is something I do want to address.
I HATE the games played between the characters due to their desire to protect their hearts. The reason neither character remained truthful to their feelings or expressed themselves freely was due to a stupid "game". He didn't want to seem overly sprung and she wanted to test his loyalty. Therefore, they both played games with each other resulting in the exact thing they feared, a broken heart. They continued in this spiral only to in the end, find their way back to each other because they were "meant to be".
Ok, so.. by all means protect your heart. This is in the word, "Above all else guard your heart for out of it flows the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4, is not the only place God ask us to guard our heart. He says this quite a few times in the bible, which is a big deal to me. It means the heart is something WE are capable of guarding, destroying, giving away, or protecting. Whatever we choose to do with our heart is up to us. Now, how can we guard our heart without playing games? I must admit I have played a few, but I think its time for a change. People are the most important thing in life. Life has no purpose without healthy relationships. From family and friends to work relationships, they are all so important. Why don't we take more responsibility in how we treat those we date.
I think there are four ways to protect the heart w/o games.
1. FIND YOUR PURPOSE.
Be sure of why you're with someone. Do you want a friend, a fun times partner, a boyfriend, or an extra member of your 'team'? This can ease confusion if you set in your mind and heart why a person is around.
2. PUT AWAY YOUR PRIDE.
Don't fear being embarrassed. Tell the truth, whether you are scared, petrified, or worried about the outcome. The times I feared being honest and remained honest anyway were the most beneficial. I received information that was much needed and was able to stay or move on as needed.
3.STOP LISTENING TO FOOLISH FRIENDS.
If your friends have terrible dating records and make plenty of decisions that make you cringe stop seeking their advice! Find friends that give advice that comes from a place of wisdom. You can make WAY better decisions when you have good positive friends around you.
4.PRAY AND LISTEN.
GOD IS THE BEST PERSON TO SEEK ADVICE FROM. (WE HAVE NOT BECAUSE WE ASK NOT!) PRAY AND ASK GOD IF SOMEONE IS WORTH YOUR TIME. YOU CAN DEFINITELY SKIP OUT ON HEART BREAK AND OTHER UNNECESSARY PROBLEMS IF YOU PRAY...and then LISTEN.
Love you,
Gabby <3
Lookout for the male advice on this topic which will be posted soon....
I HATE the games played between the characters due to their desire to protect their hearts. The reason neither character remained truthful to their feelings or expressed themselves freely was due to a stupid "game". He didn't want to seem overly sprung and she wanted to test his loyalty. Therefore, they both played games with each other resulting in the exact thing they feared, a broken heart. They continued in this spiral only to in the end, find their way back to each other because they were "meant to be".
Ok, so.. by all means protect your heart. This is in the word, "Above all else guard your heart for out of it flows the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4, is not the only place God ask us to guard our heart. He says this quite a few times in the bible, which is a big deal to me. It means the heart is something WE are capable of guarding, destroying, giving away, or protecting. Whatever we choose to do with our heart is up to us. Now, how can we guard our heart without playing games? I must admit I have played a few, but I think its time for a change. People are the most important thing in life. Life has no purpose without healthy relationships. From family and friends to work relationships, they are all so important. Why don't we take more responsibility in how we treat those we date.
I think there are four ways to protect the heart w/o games.
1. FIND YOUR PURPOSE.
Be sure of why you're with someone. Do you want a friend, a fun times partner, a boyfriend, or an extra member of your 'team'? This can ease confusion if you set in your mind and heart why a person is around.
2. PUT AWAY YOUR PRIDE.
Don't fear being embarrassed. Tell the truth, whether you are scared, petrified, or worried about the outcome. The times I feared being honest and remained honest anyway were the most beneficial. I received information that was much needed and was able to stay or move on as needed.
3.STOP LISTENING TO FOOLISH FRIENDS.
If your friends have terrible dating records and make plenty of decisions that make you cringe stop seeking their advice! Find friends that give advice that comes from a place of wisdom. You can make WAY better decisions when you have good positive friends around you.
4.PRAY AND LISTEN.
GOD IS THE BEST PERSON TO SEEK ADVICE FROM. (WE HAVE NOT BECAUSE WE ASK NOT!) PRAY AND ASK GOD IF SOMEONE IS WORTH YOUR TIME. YOU CAN DEFINITELY SKIP OUT ON HEART BREAK AND OTHER UNNECESSARY PROBLEMS IF YOU PRAY...and then LISTEN.
Love you,
Gabby <3
Lookout for the male advice on this topic which will be posted soon....
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Daddy Issues
"Everyone has daddy issues"......
I started this blog wanting to talk about how a young gentlemen once said to me, " I don't date girls with daddy issues." I was appalled. I thought it was so rude to categorize young ladies who grew up in homes without fathers as being un-dateable. Although, I was raised in a two parent home, I have friends from on both ends of the spectrum who are wonderful people and quite great candidates to date. When I asked what issues, he said to me, "they are clingy, emotionally dependent, often have low self-esteem , and are sometimes more willing to be sexually involved aka 'easy'." When I brought this up in another group discussion, a room of men, they all nodded in agreement.
For SOME young ladies whose father was not present growing up, this observation may have been true. The absence of a loving and present father can cause for a desire to seek love and positive attention from men. Without proper guidance, those they seek to date, who seem like they can provide the love they need, can cause more problems rather than help. These men can never fill the areas that are empty and can not tend to the garden of their hearts like it needs to be tended to. Looking for love in the wrong place can lead to unhealthy attachments, intense emotions, feelings of rejection leading to low self-esteem, and the desire to be deeply loved, causing them to seem "easy". This is because they confuse sex with love. (This is not true for everyone who had an absent father) As we talked, I sat and thought about men who also suffer from the residual effect of an absent father. I was upset at how the absence of a father in a home could produce such negative effects in both men and women, especially in how they date. I wanted to paint a picture of how "daddy issues" can affect healthy relationships. Then it hit me....we ALL have daddy issues.
Whether you grew up in a home with or without a father, there is a phenomena that rocks human nature. The absence of the heavenly father in our lives produces negative effects that are deeper than issues with earthly fathers. When he is not present in our life, that's when things really go haywire.
Have you ever accomplished something amazing and still felt unsatisfied? Were you the person who always had it easy, always received what you desired but still never felt complete. Are you fearful of being lonely? Does anxiety wreck your life often and cause you to drown in fear? Do you feel empty or an odd sense of disconnect at times? These are all consequences of our daddy issues. These issues stem from the lack of a relationship with our creator, Daddy God. When this relationship suffers, we suffer. I notice the difference in my day when I have not spent time with the lord. I also notice when I am not connected to the vine like I should be overall. John 14 talks about how being apart from the father (disconnected from the vine) keeps us from success. It is when we are in connection with our life source, Jesus, that we can win. We feel complete and we feel like life has purpose when we are connected to the vine (Gods word/prayer/meditation).
In the flesh, I know my relationship with my earthly father has affected who I date and what I put up with. I am very spoiled (in a good way), expect to be treated with respect, have high standards for how I carry myself, and look for good qualities in a man much like my father's. He is very chill, insightful, intelligent, great at barbecuing, great at fixing things around the house, and loves the lord. I can't help but really like a guy who has those qualities. It makes me feel like he will be a great provider, husband, and father like my dad. This is what I saw growing up and I don't mind waiting for the fellow who has these qualities and more, to find me. This is what I experienced so this is what I look for...(lets transfer this to the spiritual perspective)
If I place God on the pedestal of my life and focus on our relationship, I then am able to have healthy relationships with others. God is love (1st John 4:8) and love is ; patient, kind, not selfish, proud , rude, keeps no record of wrong, always hopes, perseveres, and never fails (1st Corinthians 13). Filling myself with his love and meditating on how much he loves me not only builds me up but causes me to overflow with love for others. He is the ultimate example of how to love/respect myself and how to love others, whether it is a friend, boyfriend, family member, or co-worker. We can all overcome daddy issues by reconnecting with the ultimate daddy, DADDY GOD.
I LOVE YOU,
Gabby
I started this blog wanting to talk about how a young gentlemen once said to me, " I don't date girls with daddy issues." I was appalled. I thought it was so rude to categorize young ladies who grew up in homes without fathers as being un-dateable. Although, I was raised in a two parent home, I have friends from on both ends of the spectrum who are wonderful people and quite great candidates to date. When I asked what issues, he said to me, "they are clingy, emotionally dependent, often have low self-esteem , and are sometimes more willing to be sexually involved aka 'easy'." When I brought this up in another group discussion, a room of men, they all nodded in agreement.
For SOME young ladies whose father was not present growing up, this observation may have been true. The absence of a loving and present father can cause for a desire to seek love and positive attention from men. Without proper guidance, those they seek to date, who seem like they can provide the love they need, can cause more problems rather than help. These men can never fill the areas that are empty and can not tend to the garden of their hearts like it needs to be tended to. Looking for love in the wrong place can lead to unhealthy attachments, intense emotions, feelings of rejection leading to low self-esteem, and the desire to be deeply loved, causing them to seem "easy". This is because they confuse sex with love. (This is not true for everyone who had an absent father) As we talked, I sat and thought about men who also suffer from the residual effect of an absent father. I was upset at how the absence of a father in a home could produce such negative effects in both men and women, especially in how they date. I wanted to paint a picture of how "daddy issues" can affect healthy relationships. Then it hit me....we ALL have daddy issues.
Whether you grew up in a home with or without a father, there is a phenomena that rocks human nature. The absence of the heavenly father in our lives produces negative effects that are deeper than issues with earthly fathers. When he is not present in our life, that's when things really go haywire.
Have you ever accomplished something amazing and still felt unsatisfied? Were you the person who always had it easy, always received what you desired but still never felt complete. Are you fearful of being lonely? Does anxiety wreck your life often and cause you to drown in fear? Do you feel empty or an odd sense of disconnect at times? These are all consequences of our daddy issues. These issues stem from the lack of a relationship with our creator, Daddy God. When this relationship suffers, we suffer. I notice the difference in my day when I have not spent time with the lord. I also notice when I am not connected to the vine like I should be overall. John 14 talks about how being apart from the father (disconnected from the vine) keeps us from success. It is when we are in connection with our life source, Jesus, that we can win. We feel complete and we feel like life has purpose when we are connected to the vine (Gods word/prayer/meditation).
In the flesh, I know my relationship with my earthly father has affected who I date and what I put up with. I am very spoiled (in a good way), expect to be treated with respect, have high standards for how I carry myself, and look for good qualities in a man much like my father's. He is very chill, insightful, intelligent, great at barbecuing, great at fixing things around the house, and loves the lord. I can't help but really like a guy who has those qualities. It makes me feel like he will be a great provider, husband, and father like my dad. This is what I saw growing up and I don't mind waiting for the fellow who has these qualities and more, to find me. This is what I experienced so this is what I look for...(lets transfer this to the spiritual perspective)
If I place God on the pedestal of my life and focus on our relationship, I then am able to have healthy relationships with others. God is love (1st John 4:8) and love is ; patient, kind, not selfish, proud , rude, keeps no record of wrong, always hopes, perseveres, and never fails (1st Corinthians 13). Filling myself with his love and meditating on how much he loves me not only builds me up but causes me to overflow with love for others. He is the ultimate example of how to love/respect myself and how to love others, whether it is a friend, boyfriend, family member, or co-worker. We can all overcome daddy issues by reconnecting with the ultimate daddy, DADDY GOD.
I LOVE YOU,
Gabby
Friday, August 1, 2014
We Like to Partyyyyyy
"I may be young but i'm READYY.." ..If you finished these lyrics then
you are familiar with the song "We Like to Party" by Baddie Bey. lol
Oh to be young and carefree. This was the song that played at the start of
many fun college nights. No, you won't find pictures of me and my girlfriends
embarrassing our parents in the streets (haha). I don't mean that kind of
fun. I do mean fun nights that reminded me of the great freedom we have in our youth. We can hang out all night with no serious responsibilities, eat all the junk we
want with little effect to our shapes, play silly games like hide and seek at
3am, or skip class to go the mall with the worst consequence being exhausted
because you do all of these things at the expense of missing sleep.
Although youth is fun and exciting, there is something God wants us to know. Being young is not an excuse to forget out creator and it is not an excuse to live life how we want. God doesn't ask Christian youth to live boring and stale, but he does ask us to acknowledge him and his greater purpose. Not only is it pleasing to him, but it creates for us a better life. When we let go of things or behaviors that we THINK we have to hold onto, he shows us why it is better to let those things go and protects us from our own demise.
Jesus said a quite radical statement in the New Testament. It was; "And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?" (Matthew 16:26). He was asking those who were listening to him to think about the purpose of their life here on earth. If you are a spiritual being having an earthly experience, then this means our time here is temporary. He was asking spirits stuck in human bodies (until their release at death), why do you look at life so importantly when it is simply a preview of the unending life to come? He says, " Life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone" (James 4:14).
Through his speech he was attempting to enlighten the audience. He needed them to grasp on to the concept. Placing temporary things, experiences, and people above God was useless. Let me explain... God's purpose in creating humans was to have created beings, reproductions of his likeness, that he could give his love to. Like loving parents who create a child, they desire to create a legacy. They want a "mini-me" they can spoil and overwhelm with never ending , everlasting love. God created us to love but he didn't want to force his love upon us, so he lovingly created choice.
The best choice we can make is choosing to accept the ultimate symbol of his love. That ultimate symbol is Christ. When we choose the world and all it offers above God, we devalue our purpose. We began to live life in a meaningless way. We perpetuate our own demise and are incapable of truly inspiring those around us. Those who refuse love can not share love. They fill them self with "feel goods"; money, sex, drugs, materialism, and fame. These all may be fun, but if they CONSUME YOU they are unsatisfying, temporary, selfish, and un-fulfilling. They lead to death on earth (spiritual, mental, and physical), and then to an everlasting death in hell if you don’t accept Christ to cover them. He doesn't ask us to let go of these things to make us boring, but to help us live a life that is amazingly satisfied in him on earth and that prepares us for life in heaven with him as well.
We can have fun and enjoy life, yes. He doesn’t ask us to live our years on earth bored, sick, and sad. He wants us to acknowledge him and realize he is the most important thing in life. HE IS LIFE. That’s why in Romans 12, he ask us to renew our mind so that we can let go of societies wrong views on a successful life and grasp hold of his. Ecclesiastes 12:1 says, “Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, 'Life is not pleasant anymore.' Your real life is hidden in Christ, in God." (Colossians 3)
I remember being at a party celebrating the advancement of a friend with his company. I was excited and dancing but this thought came to my mind. Amidst all of the fun, how many people in here are truly miserable? How many people are attempting to drown their crappy life in drinks? How many are hoping this night won’t end so they can keep their mind off of their worries. My fun was stifled with my care for lost souls and my desire to tell them about the true meaning of life. My desire to share that true joy is in knowing your life is in Christ's hands. I want to share that no drug, person, or drink can give you peace. I have constant peace in every situation thanks to Christ and a sure spot in heaven eternally thanks to his blood that covers my sins of the past, present, and future. I don’t purposefully take advantage of his grace but I make my life’s decisions based on these three thoughts. Does this please God? Does this positively affect my testimony and help me remain a godly example? And is this decision worth the after affects?
Use wisdom as you enjoy your youth. GO AGAINST THE GRAIN. You can stand out. You don’t have to follow everyone else. If God is calling you to change your lifestyle, then listen. He knows what is best and it will all be worth it in the end. Yes, there are things you might have to sacrifice, but again it’s worth it. Jesus calls us to be holy. Before you freak out, this doesn’t mean you have to turn into a monk, lol. When he asks for holiness, he asks us to accept his holy son which qualifies us as holy. This means all you have to do is surrender. Focus on him as he cuts and takes away the pieces of us that needs to die and produces fresh fruit in us. This fruit will illuminate our lives and touch those around us.
So let this post cause you to think ...
What is your purpose? Why are you here? How can you allow God to transform your life? What are you holding onto that is keeping you from surrendering to God? What are you afraid of?
Here I Gab..AGAIN,
Gabs
Although youth is fun and exciting, there is something God wants us to know. Being young is not an excuse to forget out creator and it is not an excuse to live life how we want. God doesn't ask Christian youth to live boring and stale, but he does ask us to acknowledge him and his greater purpose. Not only is it pleasing to him, but it creates for us a better life. When we let go of things or behaviors that we THINK we have to hold onto, he shows us why it is better to let those things go and protects us from our own demise.
Jesus said a quite radical statement in the New Testament. It was; "And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?" (Matthew 16:26). He was asking those who were listening to him to think about the purpose of their life here on earth. If you are a spiritual being having an earthly experience, then this means our time here is temporary. He was asking spirits stuck in human bodies (until their release at death), why do you look at life so importantly when it is simply a preview of the unending life to come? He says, " Life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone" (James 4:14).
Through his speech he was attempting to enlighten the audience. He needed them to grasp on to the concept. Placing temporary things, experiences, and people above God was useless. Let me explain... God's purpose in creating humans was to have created beings, reproductions of his likeness, that he could give his love to. Like loving parents who create a child, they desire to create a legacy. They want a "mini-me" they can spoil and overwhelm with never ending , everlasting love. God created us to love but he didn't want to force his love upon us, so he lovingly created choice.
The best choice we can make is choosing to accept the ultimate symbol of his love. That ultimate symbol is Christ. When we choose the world and all it offers above God, we devalue our purpose. We began to live life in a meaningless way. We perpetuate our own demise and are incapable of truly inspiring those around us. Those who refuse love can not share love. They fill them self with "feel goods"; money, sex, drugs, materialism, and fame. These all may be fun, but if they CONSUME YOU they are unsatisfying, temporary, selfish, and un-fulfilling. They lead to death on earth (spiritual, mental, and physical), and then to an everlasting death in hell if you don’t accept Christ to cover them. He doesn't ask us to let go of these things to make us boring, but to help us live a life that is amazingly satisfied in him on earth and that prepares us for life in heaven with him as well.
We can have fun and enjoy life, yes. He doesn’t ask us to live our years on earth bored, sick, and sad. He wants us to acknowledge him and realize he is the most important thing in life. HE IS LIFE. That’s why in Romans 12, he ask us to renew our mind so that we can let go of societies wrong views on a successful life and grasp hold of his. Ecclesiastes 12:1 says, “Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, 'Life is not pleasant anymore.' Your real life is hidden in Christ, in God." (Colossians 3)
I remember being at a party celebrating the advancement of a friend with his company. I was excited and dancing but this thought came to my mind. Amidst all of the fun, how many people in here are truly miserable? How many people are attempting to drown their crappy life in drinks? How many are hoping this night won’t end so they can keep their mind off of their worries. My fun was stifled with my care for lost souls and my desire to tell them about the true meaning of life. My desire to share that true joy is in knowing your life is in Christ's hands. I want to share that no drug, person, or drink can give you peace. I have constant peace in every situation thanks to Christ and a sure spot in heaven eternally thanks to his blood that covers my sins of the past, present, and future. I don’t purposefully take advantage of his grace but I make my life’s decisions based on these three thoughts. Does this please God? Does this positively affect my testimony and help me remain a godly example? And is this decision worth the after affects?
Use wisdom as you enjoy your youth. GO AGAINST THE GRAIN. You can stand out. You don’t have to follow everyone else. If God is calling you to change your lifestyle, then listen. He knows what is best and it will all be worth it in the end. Yes, there are things you might have to sacrifice, but again it’s worth it. Jesus calls us to be holy. Before you freak out, this doesn’t mean you have to turn into a monk, lol. When he asks for holiness, he asks us to accept his holy son which qualifies us as holy. This means all you have to do is surrender. Focus on him as he cuts and takes away the pieces of us that needs to die and produces fresh fruit in us. This fruit will illuminate our lives and touch those around us.
So let this post cause you to think ...
What is your purpose? Why are you here? How can you allow God to transform your life? What are you holding onto that is keeping you from surrendering to God? What are you afraid of?
Here I Gab..AGAIN,
Gabs
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)