Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Life is a like a mist, fog, vapor. You see it and then it’s gone. The bible describes our time on earth as a mist! Isn’t that crazy? This means our time on earth, what we experience, and what we see is temporary. It is fleeting, miniscule, and not worth being extensively stressed and worried over. Why?

God wants us to realize we are a part of a MUCH larger scheme. He has planned an entire eternity for his children and doesn’t want us to get bent out of shape over our quick time on earth. We have a home beyond this universe and these dimensions. This new home, heaven, is so great that it is almost unfathomable. 

SO WHY STRESS OVER THE LITTLE THINGS HERE ON EARTH?

When I was 10, I thought missing my favorite cartoon, or tripping on my way off the school bus were the most major events in my life!  I even remember thinking, “I can’t wait to be eighteen!” I thought the world was mine for the conquering once I was “legal”. I was excited to date, get a job, go to college, and simply make more decisions for myself.  Now that I am in my twenties I realize that 1) life was much simpler at age 10, lol and 2) I was so immature for blowing little embarrassments and situations into HUGE catastrophes.

Just like I look back now and laugh over my dramatics. I don’t want to look back over my twenties and so on thinking I stressed over the little stuff. I mean life can get pretty tough. I am not discounting the pain and troubles we go through as trivial but I am saying when you have Christ, life is always on the up and up. We have a never ending hope and peace in this life and the next. He works everything, even our bad decisions for our good because he loves us that much.

So as you go into the New Year, cast all your cares on the Lord for he cares for you. Remember love covers a multitude of sins. So love, forgive, and receive God's unending love. Lastly, remember ALL WHO WANDER AREN’T LOST. With God as the captain of our ship, we will never lose course, so let him lead. Even if you feel like you're wandering, you’re on a journey. Sometimes you may lose sight of the destination, but you will definitely get there!

Love and Happiness in 2015!

Gabby

Why Men Are the Best Things Walking Planet Earth

Hahaha.. How many women are upset after reading the title?

If you've been lied to, cheated on, broken up with, heartbroken, or embarrased by a guy, then you're probably looking at this post with disgust. Yet, if you are in love..like floating on a cloud in love,  your perception of the male species might be different. You might see strength, dignity, great looks, and other irresistable qualities. Your man might be the best thing walking planet earth.

As I sat thinking about what to post this week, I was stopped on the sidewalk by yet another male reader.  He proceeded with the usual, "I don't tell people I read your blog but I do, secretly. It's good." I laughed and said, "You don't know how many guys read and enjoy the blog 'in secret'." 

Yes, it caters to women but I love for men to read the blog..  it is for you too! I don't discriminate!

->So shout out to the fellas who read it ..this blog is for you.<-

 Men are awesome why?

The men in my life are great providers, this includes friends and family. I always have someone looking out for me and I appreciate that. If I have a flat, I call my dad. If I am hungry, I don't even have to call my best guy friends, they ask me first! If I need someone to vent to, I can call my brother, and if I need someone to celebrate an accomplishment I call my uncles. These men in my life rock! I may be single but I'm well taken care of. 

The man for me has large shoes to fill because I am definitely spoiled :)Being the queen of a fraternity didn't help..I am even more spoiled because I have been so blessed to have so much help and support through the years from amazing men who I now call family because of the bonds we've built through me being a title holder within their organization. I remember times I needed help moving out of my dorm in college, there would be awesome Alpha brothers waiting to carry my luggage to my car. That's just one out of the many times I was rescued in college by the "bruhs"...hahah!

Men are awesome why?

They are great leaders. (Not that women aren't) Men can galvanize a community to create change, take reign over their household, protect what is their prized possession, and can be great critical thinkers when it comes to combining ideas with women on things. (Lets be honest they need our help with a plethora of things.)

ANYWAY..

Men are even more AWESOME when they know how to treat a woman.
When they are chivalrous , caring, strong, and respectful we can't help but admire those qualities sometimes even more than good looks. When women hold themselves to high standards we can cause a great man to rise to the occasion and be the best he can be to us and to the world. Men can also bring out the best in us if they nurture the relationship enough. Women will give lots of loyalty, love, care, and respect if a man earns or shows he is worthy of it.

There are great men in the world who deserve to be acknowledged. Not all men are dogs, cheaters, liars, and deadbeats! Let's encourage the men. If you feel you're not treated correctly , ladies try something new. Hold yourself to higher standards and make these men work for you. You are worth it. Don't be easy because your lonely or impatient.

As far as the title of this blog men are cool. I wouldn't say they are the absolute best thing walking planet earth. I only wrote that to draw their attention... we know who really RULES THE WORLD and who's the best species walking planet earth..... lol!

We appreciate you GOOD men out there..Keep up the great work!

Love,
Gabby

Infidelity

My wise mother once told me, "Gab if you go around giving your heart to different men and disrespect your body by sharing it with guys you casually date, it is like committing infidelity to the one you're suppose to spend your life with."


That was deep.


I always thought that men who cheat on their wives and women who are promiscuous throughout a committed relationship were examples of infidelity. I never thought about possibly cheating on the one I am suppose to spend my life with before we even meet. I mean let's be real, I don't even know him yet and I don't have a ring, so how could that be possible? When I am dating someone, I do not bare all of my heart or share all of my secrets because that is a level of intimacy in itself. It makes women especially, feel deeply connected to someone, which opens up a level of comfortability that can lead to a more physical intimacy in the long run.


So, what was my mother trying to tell me?


She was trying to explain to me that I should practice being a committed, faithful, integral women by reserving most relationship experiences for one man, the man I marry. This includes deep secrets, sex, excessive time, space, and energy.


I have carried her words very near to my heart in the confident expectation that me waiting will be worth my while. EVERY GREAT THINKER, INNOVATOR, MOVEMENT INITIATOR, had a moment of waiting. I mean yeah I'm talking about relationships, but every great thing takes some time. In this age of fast paced EVERYTHING, we don't like to wait for anything. That is why we rush to be rich, get married, start a business and then get so mad when we fail. Knowing that if we took the time to think, plan, and process we could've prevented our own downfall.


Sometimes I hate waiting. SO I understand the desire to RUSH. There are days where I just miss being boo'd up or holding hands down the street with someone. It is the simple things I long for that make me impatient. Yet I stop and think. I think about all the things I waited for in life and how awesome they were when I finally achieved them. For some reason I can't help but feel compelled to wait for the one. When we meet, I can't wait to blog all the sappy crap about how I'm so in love yada yada yada..... HAHA BUT until then I want inspire you. Stand firm in what you believe in despite what the masses around you say or do. If God is leading you in a direction, go toward it boldly. He will bless you for your obedience. Where you fall, his grace is ever sufficient, trust him. He works everything for your good.



Be encouraged,
Gabby
xo

Baffling Virginity

"Because you don't open your legs, no man will stay. You are crazy."

"She's bad, but until she opens up shop... I am straight."

"If you find a man that says he will wait for you, I guarantee he's getting it from somewhere else."

"You dont know what you are missing."

These are the comments I have heard over the years, in the past months, shoot... even a couple days ago concerning my choice to save sex for marriage. I will assume because I am attractive, it is baffling to men my decision to wait. That and the fact that they don't find many girls willing to wait.

I have to be honest, I have dated guys who did pressure me to change my mind. I can see how many young ladies fall into the trap, that sleeping with their guy will keep him around. That temptation is real. Yet, we all know this is not true. Most guys know before the first day how far and how long they want you around. Based on the vibes, persona, and aura you give, they know if you will be pursued as the temporary chick of the week, long-term boo, the good girl they try to pocket for marriage, or just someone they'd simply like to sleep with. 

These are things I have seen some of my guy friends do or speak about other guys doing. Most college aged men up to men in their early 30’s (some past 30 too) see the world and women as a grand horizon they must conquer. They want to experience it all. This can cause them to seem very indecisive and unsure in relationships, even if they may want to do the right thing.

I have taken it upon myself to assist men I date in making decisions concerning me by not clouding our relationship with sexual intimacy.  YOU KNOW intimacy changes things.  The bible says :

·      That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. ( Genesis 2:24)

·       Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Mark 10:9)

·       Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, The two will become one flesh. (1 Corinthians 6:16)

When you become “one flesh”, you unite yourself with someone. I don’t want unity with multiple men who after I broke up with them can't get over because we've bonded on such a deep level.

ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS.. I desire to wait not only to protect myself from a high body count, diseases, and unwanted pregnancy, but I WANT TO STICK TO MY GUNS. If I say I am going to do something I am going to do it. I DON'T LIKE PEER PRESSURE. I will not change my decision based on another person's opinion on what I should be doing with my body, the one I dedicated to God.  All in all I am content in my choice and I want to inspire other women to do what they know is best. DON'T BE AFRAID TO LOSE SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY DON'T RESPECT OR LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO WAIT. Don't do something you don't want to do because you think everyone else is doing it. *side-eye*  Keep your values and morals.

BE A TREASURE.

Treasures are rare and hard to find. Don't be a fast food girl. They are the quick and easy fix that is easily accesible and not hard to attain. No one looks at fast food as a delicacy or something of great value..right. lol Be worth the wait. If God is leading you to wait, trust the right man to come to you at the right time. Again, I can't tell you how many marriage proposals (ones w/o rings) I have recieved over the years. The girl guys want to take home have not been around the block and back. I would rather have that kind of positive attention and be single for just a little bit longer than to be "everybody's girl".

Once, I was sitting with a good guy friend telling him about a breakup I had with a guy over the fact that we were not intimate. He said, "Gab, if I was with you I woudn't mind waiting." He said, "Many guys won't say it out loud but I respect your decision and don't ever change." He didn't know those words were exactly what I needed to hear. So.. I leave those words with you.  If you are waiting .."I respect your decision.. don't ever change."



Peace and Love,
Gabs

Messy

One slap and it was all she wrote. The two girls were rolling around, pulling hair, and stomping on egos. You could call it the derogatory term “cat fight” and say it was similar to one of those fights on “Bad Girls Club”.  One girl yelled “We don’t have to do this”, while the other screamed, “***** I hate you!” The two young ladies fighting were way beyond the age of school yard fist fights. They were grown women. They were old enough to acquire jobs, a mortgage, and maybe a husband/kid or two.

Humans and human nature never cease to amaze me. What brings two people to the verge of fighting? My guess and calculated answer would be gossip, pride, and un-checked egos. I am appalled at how no matter how old we get, many “adults” still produce child-like behavior. They pick at people, seek revenge, hit back when they are pushed, and spread rumors to defame someone’s name. I work with  9-12 year olds every day and this behavior sounds way too familiar.Why don’t people grow up? Why does “an eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth” seem so embedded into our psyche, making us assume we must physically hurt those who verbally abuse us? In the case of the altercation aforementioned, one young lady was extremely jealous of the other and wanted to render bodily harm in order to release her aggression. 

There are a few scriptures I love that state:

·         “Bless those who curse you.”  Romans 12:14

·         “Love your enemies.”  Matt  5:44

·         "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Romans 12:20

GOD surely TAKES CARE OF HIS CHILDREN THAT ARE TREATED WRONG, AND HE KNOWS HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR ENEMIES AS WELL. You don’t have to fight to win your battles with people that don’t like you. I mean, a tongue lashing is needed here or there, but it should be one that is beneficial and not for appeasing of your SELFISH pride.

God has shown me NUMEROUS TIMES that he will take care of me if I let him and not try to get revenge on my own. One funny occasion God showed me he had my back was in 7^th grade.  Gabby in 7^th grade was hilarious. I had no style, I was super friendly and often the brunt of many jokes because I was so different. I was not cool nor considered a pretty girl until high school, BUT I was always popular for being “outlandish” lol. I was the “super saint” and everyone called me church girl. One day on the bus I was talking to a person in the seat next to me. A girl who I normally never had issues with stood up and yelled at me,  “Shut the #### up!”  I couldn’t believe she was talking to me, so I said, “Who are you talking to?” She proceeded to tell me that it was me she was referring to, and if I had a problem she could fix it. The entire bus yelled “oooh she told you”. I sat quietly for a second turned around and continued with my conversation. The girl did not lay a finger on me and everyone was shocked I held my composure.  

God was glorified. Those students rarely saw a person utilize self -control. I walked off of the bus at my stop, and as I entered my house I began to pray. I said, “Lord you know I can’t fight, I don’t want to fight, and I don’t need to fight. Can you just help miss crazy girl and help ya girl Gabby out from this bully. ” Well, the next day they girl was not on the bus. The next week she was not on the bus and finally, someone noticed and said, "where is 'so and so'?” A boy yelled, “oh she moved last weekend!” Literally, a day or two after I prayed she moved. You may call it coincidence, but I call it divine intervention! HAHA.

Stories like this happened and still happen all the time. I mean all of the outcomes aren’t people moving away, but I have plenty more stories that I could share.  My goal in sharing this blog is to tell you LET GOD FIGHT YOUR BATTLES. He gives a way better outcome to your situations than you can. Don’t fall into the world’s idea of handling those who treat you wrong.

HUMANS WILL BE HUMANS AND SOMETIMES THEY WILL FAIL YOU!! POINT. BLANK. PERIOD.

Our job is to trust our creator to protect and uplift us while we become a beacon light for our haters.

God has got your back and will NEVER FAIL YOU. TRUST HIM!

Love, Gabs

Dirty Minds

He is tall dark and handsome. Every time you see him, he seems more tempting because he's just that FINE. You are a flirt, so you send little harmless hints that you are interested in him but you never act on it because you know better. What you can’t help is how your mind runs wild, although you have every intent to do the right thing.

Welp, we've all seen the movies that depict love at first sight. Two highly attractive people see each other, lock eyes, and then all of a sudden they are rolling around in a bed. UGHH Hollywood loves to sell sex but in the Christian young mind, these images can imprint on the mind causing lustful desires that God says is a sin in itself.  The word says, “if you look at a (person) in lust you commit adultery in your heart.”(Matt 5:28)

Protecting your MIND/HEART is so important to God because what we focus on and fill ourselves with will directly affect our actions. You may have every intent on following God but if you’re surrounded by people and things that promote sin you will FAIL, MISERABLY. Then you will wonder why things keep going wrong and why you can’t get right. It is because you have not surrendered your heart and mind, both which lead and steer our actions/lives.

The bible says –

1. Above ALL else guard your heart for it affects everything you do. (Proverbs 4:23)

2. Think on things above, not beneath, where Christ sits at the right hand of the father. (Colossians 3:1)

3. Put to death earthly desires, sexual immorality, impurity, passions, evil desires. (Colossians 3:5)

3. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:1-2)

That is the only way your actions will line up with the word, when you get a new mindset.

Honestly, when you realize God's love and how living clean benefits you more than sin, you won’t want to do wrong anymore. BE RELEASED from the trick of the enemy that it is more fun and fulfilling to sin. The sin-filled life is actually empty and unfulfilled, and looking for the next high becomes exhausting.

GIVE THE DEVIL AN INCH AND HE WILL BECOME YOUR RULER. I am not saying make yourself perfect, because you can’t. What I’m offering is a better way to live that is full of peace and blessings in a world full of sin, sadness, and sickness. That is a simple changing of your thoughts.

How important is it to protect the mind? Well, the eye-gate is a pathway to the soul and from within our soul/heart flows the wellspring of life according to Proverbs!

Allow God to transform you for THE BETTER.

2^ND THESSALONIANS 3:3 SAYS "BUT THE LORD IS FAITHFUL. HE WILL ESTABLISH YOU AND GUARD YOU AGAINST THE EVIL ONE."

Cleanse your mind with the washing/purifying water of the word of GOD.
You wouldn’t drink tainted water if you knew it made you sick, gave you bad acne, and pain to your organs, no! So why fill your spirit with the trash this world offers?

-turn off the nasty music
-leave that person alone whose causes you to lust
-stay away from tempting situations
-stop watching those sex promoting shows

I’M NOT PREACHING DOWN TO YOU, I'M TALKING  TO MYSELF AS WELL. HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE WORLD IF WE DON’T FIRST CHANGE OURSELVES? HOW CAN WE ASK GOD TO USE US IF WE DON’T GIVE OURSELVES AS A CLEAN VESSEL TO BE USED?

Jesus has already purified us through his blood. Accept his free gift of cleansing and salvation. Good fruit (actions) will be produced out of your life as you let him cleanse your mind. Without even trying to live right you will see subtle changes as you focus on Christ. Let him complete his work on you, rest in the fact that he is GOD and he is WAY bigger than you problems, sins, and mistakes.

LIVE A BETTER LIFE through CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you, Jesus loves you more
Gab

How To Be The Girl EVERYONE Wants

"Gabs got the juice!" How many times have I heard this statement.  In other words, this slang phrase means, "she has numerous suitors and her phone is never 'dry'".

False. 

People look at me and think to themselves I'm sure she has plenty of guys and goes on plenty of dates, but those who REALLY know me, understand this is not the case.

Ok yes, plenty of guys like me, but it is pointless. I am not looking to be the most wanted woman. I'm looking to be an example of what a good woman looks like, and in my attempts to honor God with my body through purity, have found great interest from men. You're probably thinking, "HOW IRONIC! You mean to tell me men want you because not putting out and seriously behaving as a good girl gets you lots of attention?"

YEP! You don't have to be easy to be wanted.

LISTEN. I'm not attempting to brag about how many times I get hit on or anything like that, I am simply trying to set up a solid preface to what I would like to share in today's blog. 

What I have experienced is that plenty of men ask me for my number and attempt to hang out because they are intrigued, beguiled maybe, inquisitive, or attracted to how odd I am. They've heard the rumors that I don't  "put out" , and can't believe I really am a 'good girl' so they want to see for themselves.  For the few who do appreciate my strong values, they seem intimidated and feel as if they don't measure up when we begin to date.  I don't have the 'juice' aka real suitors who are marrying potential. I just have guys that are up for a challenge and then soon realize I am not a game. They learn early on that I practice what I preach on this blog and then leave me alone because they don't want to adhere to the standards. Im glad they do leave because it means they are not the one for me. Yet, what I have seen, because I stand out,  is that I am approached quite often and I have been proposed to (jokingly of course) more times than I can count.  I mean sure they probably think I am an attractive girl, but honestly there are plenty of BAD women in the world. I truly believe a lot of the attraction comes from men knowing they need a good woman in their life and fall in love with those qualities rather than just looks.

I am sharing this because...

According to the media, hottest teen mags, blogs, movies, etc., the girls with the best body, crazy kissing ability, and precise flirting expertise always get the guys. She is sexy, attractive, and great in bed. Everyone wants her because they know she is not too difficult to get into bed with and they get cool points from the guys for being able to get with her.

The easy girl has all the juice but no one wants to take her home to meet mom. The one who is marriage material seems so lonely because most men are getting their lives together and know they can't approach her seriously until they are mature enough to handle a good thing. She is not lonely, she is just preserved.

THE POINT OF THIS BLOG is that you don't have to be FAST to get all the guys. BE HARD TO GET! IF YOU ARE WORTH MARRYING, SHOW IT. Don't portray yourself as the easy target for a guys temporary fulfillment. Not only does it leave you broken but provides a false sense of self worth in a young lady. You are precious to GOD....ACT LIKE IT. Then the man for you will  RISE UP amongst the crowd and one day show you he's ready as God's prince to treat you like an absolute princess.

DONT SETTLE FOR THE FROGS BOO!

but Im gabbing…again...XO,
Gab

Nibble On This

I once heard this question posed before a group of youth. After a long day at school, would you like to come home to a quick, cold McDonalds set on the table or would you wait extra time for the best home cooked meal made from your grandmother?  Every one yelled in agreement the home cooked meal. They began to talk about the best southern meal they ever had. Most descriptions included mouth watering southern fried chicken, mash potatoes, collards, black eye peas, and peach cobbler. In comparison to a burger made without love, the home made meal seemed like a peace of heaven.

Now, when it comes to choosing the better meal, the choice seems so easy, but let's complicate the comparison. The one for you, your soul mate, is like the home cooked meal. They are made with love and TOTALLY worth waiting for. Those who you just utilize to fulfill temporary needs are like your fast foods. They are okay as a temporary fix, but not memorable and you could definitely pass on it knowing there is a better meal awaiting you.

OK, so human relationships are not as simple as picking a meal. I know this. What I am trying to point out is that there is a gift in waiting and not rushing into numerous pointless relationships. Fast food in excess, can lead to excessive weight gain, lack of energy, feeling unsatisfied, and cost you a lot of money in the long run. Fast and failing relationships may have much greater consequences. These include bitterness, emptiness, lack of trust, and many more. I don't have to elaborate on the horrors of multiple bad relationships. You don't want to carry this baggage, which can potentially cause problems when you finally meet someone who is worth committing to.

WAIT FOR YOUR HOME-COOKED MEAL. HAHA...and If YOU'RE the PERSON who represents the home cooked meal, the one worth the wait.. don't get weary in well doing 
(Gal 6:9). If you see people passing a great thing up, they obviously don't deserve your time. They probably would not appreciate a person of value if it slapped them in the face.

LOVE YOURSELF.

LOVE,
Gabby

p.s HereIGabAgain VLOGS are in the works! WAIT ON IT :)

Love or Lust? The Dramatic Story

Yup. He is fine.

The way he looks at you does more than make your heart skip a beat. Your face turns red, you can't seem to keep cool, and for the first time in a very long time you wouldn't mind if this guy hit on you. He's the type of guy you wouldn't second guess giving your number to. You guys start dating and you find out he is suave, charming, and almost a perfect gentlemen. He even goes to church most Sundays. You make sure you are THE BADDEST chick walking planet earth when you are with him because he has that much stature. You want everyone to know you're his, and he's yours. You've decided your best option is to not have sex with this guy until you know it is right. Right, meaning until he has 'put a ring on it'. You want him to understand you're more than a fling and you're definitely worth marrying. He has a keen eye for nice things so he doesn't need to test the waters to know that if he waits for you and makes you his wife that it would be an amazing decision for him. He knows deep down inside it would all be worth it.


Here is where the story gets crazy..


He knows your worth but can't get over being selfish. He honestly feels like women have made it so easy ..why should he cater to your desire to wait? A million women could be in your shoes. He is dishonest in the fact that he isn't really looking for love, but for lust and sex. And because we live in a society that tells everyone frivolous sex is alright and beneficial for providing pleasure therefore, he sees nothing wrong with his ways. He begins to add up the money spent, time wasted, conversations with his boys and decides to pressure you because "a man has needs". You become the object that is to fulfill those needs and no longer a prized and respectable woman worth true love and genuine affection.


What do you do?


Try to get over him by running away as fast as you can?  Do you give in to his crazy good looks and heart melting smile in hopes that you will eventually get a perfect love story? Truth is.. if you want to date God's way, it's okay to wait. You are capable through Christ and fully equipped to not fall into lust. You can find true love. Why would God ask you to wait if it looks like no one around us is waiting? His grace is sufficient for those who choose not to, but the truth is that the consequences aren't always worth the action. We keep ourselves from so much MESS when we wait. Patience is not something we like to walk in, in the 21st century. Everything is better, faster, and more efficient than the year before. We want popcorn relationships that just pop up and flourish without any work or process to them. TOO BAD PEOPLE AREN'T POPCORN. So what if it seems like everybody is in a relationship! Are they all good ones? Are they all happy?


I'm just posing a question. When is the last time lust helped you through a hard time? Has lust ever produced a meaningful and lasting relationship? Has lust ever provided you the satisfaction you needed to fill the empty spaces in your life/heart? If you can answer yes to all of these things, maybe I'm wrong... but if your answer is no, then choose love over lust.  Work toward longevity  and producing meaningful relationships. God's ways is always the best way when you stop looking at the  temporary and the right now. He sees your future, knows where you're headed, and provides wise council to keep you on the right track. Listen.


xoxo,
Gabs

The Notebook

I remember sitting in a class in high school and a student began to make fun of me. She talked about my overly modest clothes and soft spoken demeaner. I didn't flirt with the guys, I was a "goody two shoes", but I didn't mind it at all. Not one bit. She said to me "I bet I will get married before you do. Who would want a girl like you? I bet guys would never talk to you!" Her words stung slightly. I mean I've watched all of the great romantic films that give girls a dream of a fairytale love. Hearing this mean girl's words made me wonder..WHAT IF I NEVER FIND THE ONE? Long story short, she gained a reputation of being 'fast' and I was still the "good girl". I knew I didn't need to change one bit because the values my mother taught me would protect me. Ironically, I was the girl the guys called "wifey", with my overly modest clothes and she was popularly used as their short term experience. She also never gained a title, no one even called her their girlfriend.  

Now, I was not confused as to why this girl made her comments, nor was I confused as to why boys tore her viewpoint of me down.  She was under the impression that parading her body around like a piece of meat in high school would get a guy to love, respect, adore, and eventually marry her. I knew physical attraction might get a guy's attention, but it surely won't keep him. Like anything that needs to grow, there must be deep roots in order for it to flourish. A flowers lovely petals are the result of deep roots that can not be seen. In order for a relationship to grow, there has to be something more than physical attraction. YOU HAVE TO HAVE SUBSTANCE and so does the fellow you decide to entertain. That is why guys liked me. It wasn't because I was the prettiest girl, it was because they knew I had qualities that would make me a good wife and mother.  I am a woman with substance.

You might be wondering, "Hey Gabby?..Where is your man since you know so much?"  LOL Well like the flowers need time to grow, the ONE guy who is suppose to admire me hasn't grown into the realization of where his rose is located yet (hahaha). I am not worried about getting married, finding the one, or proving to anyone that I'm date-able. All I can do is continue to give God the glory as his created being. I am sure that my life is in God's hands. I want to encourage you, if you are longing for your "Notebook", "Titanic", "A Walk to Remember", "Bonnie and Clyde" or "Cinderella" love story, then let it go and let God.  He is the best writer of a love story and it will be a realistic one.  Wait for your story to unfold with me. If you have found the one (lucky you) share this blog with one of your single friends! xoxoxo hahah!!!


Love you,
Gabs

Love Jones

I sat and watched the movie "Love Jones" all the way through for the first time yesterday. I was slightly irritated while watching this film. It wasn't a fairy-tale at all and maybe that's why I didn't like it. The story-line was way too real and probably had similar situations to many of our dating relationships. There were so many ups and downs.... nothing in life is really the way movies, books, reality shows , etc. portray them to be. Now, I'm not trying to dissect the movie and what I liked or disliked, but there is something I do want to address.  

I HATE the games played between the characters due to their desire to protect their hearts. The reason neither character remained truthful to their feelings or expressed themselves freely was due to a stupid "game". He didn't want to seem overly sprung and she wanted to test his loyalty. Therefore, they both played games with each other resulting in the exact thing they feared, a broken heart. They continued in this spiral only to in the end, find their way back to each other because they were "meant to be".

Ok, so.. by all means protect your heart. This is in the word, "Above all else guard your heart for out of it flows the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4, is not the only place God ask us to guard our heart.  He says this quite a few times in the bible, which is a big deal to me. It means the heart is something WE are capable of guarding, destroying, giving away, or protecting. Whatever we choose to do with our heart is up to us. Now, how can we guard our heart without playing games? I must admit I have played a few, but I think its time for a change. People are the most important thing in life. Life has no purpose without healthy relationships. From family and friends to work relationships, they are all so important. Why don't we take more responsibility in how we treat those we date.

I think there are four ways to protect the heart w/o games.

1. FIND YOUR PURPOSE.
Be sure of why you're with someone. Do you want a friend, a fun times partner, a boyfriend, or an extra member of your 'team'? This can ease confusion if you set in your mind and heart why a person is around.

2. PUT AWAY YOUR PRIDE.
Don't fear being embarrassed. Tell the truth, whether you are scared, petrified, or worried about the outcome. The times I feared being honest and remained honest anyway were the most beneficial. I received information that was much needed and was able to stay or move on as needed.

3.STOP LISTENING TO FOOLISH FRIENDS.
If your friends have terrible dating records and make plenty of decisions that make you cringe stop seeking their advice! Find friends that give advice that comes from a place of wisdom. You can make WAY better decisions when you have good positive friends around you.

4.PRAY AND LISTEN.
GOD IS THE BEST PERSON TO SEEK ADVICE FROM. (WE HAVE NOT BECAUSE WE ASK NOT!) PRAY AND ASK GOD IF SOMEONE IS WORTH YOUR TIME. YOU CAN DEFINITELY SKIP OUT ON HEART BREAK AND OTHER UNNECESSARY PROBLEMS IF YOU PRAY...and then LISTEN.


Love you,
Gabby <3

Lookout for the male advice on this topic which will be posted soon....

Daddy Issues

"Everyone has daddy issues"......
I started this blog wanting to talk about how a young gentlemen once said to me, " I don't date girls with daddy issues." I was appalled. I thought it was so rude to categorize young ladies who grew up in homes without fathers as being un-dateable.  Although, I was raised in a two parent home, I have friends from on both ends of the spectrum who are wonderful people and quite great candidates to date.   When I asked what issues, he said to me, "they are clingy, emotionally dependent, often have low self-esteem , and are sometimes more willing to be sexually involved aka 'easy'." When I brought this up in another group discussion, a room of men, they all nodded in agreement.

For SOME young ladies whose father was not present growing up, this observation may have been true. The absence of a loving and present father can cause for a desire to seek love and positive attention from men.  Without proper guidance, those they seek to date, who seem like they can provide the love they need, can cause more problems rather than help. These men can never fill the areas that are empty and can not tend to the garden of their hearts like it needs to be tended to. Looking for love in the wrong place can lead to unhealthy attachments, intense emotions, feelings of rejection leading to low self-esteem, and the desire to be deeply loved, causing them to seem "easy". This is because they confuse sex with love. (This is not true for everyone who had an absent father) As we talked, I sat and thought about men who also suffer from the residual effect of an absent father. I was upset at how the absence of a father in a home could produce such negative effects in both men and women, especially in how they date. I wanted to paint a picture of how "daddy issues" can affect healthy relationships. Then it hit me....we ALL have daddy issues.

Whether you grew up in a home with or without a father, there is a phenomena that rocks human nature. The absence of the heavenly father in our lives produces negative effects that are deeper than issues with earthly fathers.  When he is not present in our life, that's when things really go haywire.

Have you ever accomplished something amazing and still felt unsatisfied? Were you the person who always had it easy, always received what you desired but still never felt complete. Are you fearful of being lonely? Does anxiety wreck your life often and cause you to drown in fear? Do you feel empty or an odd sense of disconnect at times? These are all consequences of  our daddy issues. These issues stem from the lack of a relationship with our creator, Daddy God. When this relationship suffers, we suffer. I notice the difference in my day when I have not spent time with the lord. I also notice when I am not connected to the vine like I should be overall. John 14 talks about how being apart from the father (disconnected from the vine) keeps us from success. It is when we are in connection with our life source, Jesus, that we can win. We feel complete and we feel like life has purpose when we are connected to the vine (Gods word/prayer/meditation).

In the flesh, I know my relationship with my earthly father has affected who I date and what I put up with. I am very spoiled (in a good way), expect to be treated with respect, have high standards for how I carry myself, and look for good qualities in a man much like my father's. He is very chill, insightful, intelligent, great at barbecuing, great at fixing things around the house, and loves the lord. I can't help but really like a guy who has those qualities. It makes me feel like he will be a great provider, husband, and father like my dad.  This is what I saw growing up and I don't mind waiting for the fellow who has these qualities and more, to find me. This is what I experienced so this is what I look for...(lets transfer this to the spiritual perspective)

If I place God on the pedestal of my life and focus on our relationship, I then am able to have healthy relationships with others. God is love (1st John 4:8) and love is ; patient, kind, not selfish, proud , rude, keeps no record of wrong, always hopes, perseveres, and never fails (1st Corinthians 13). Filling myself with his love and meditating on how much he loves me not only builds me up but causes me to overflow with love for others. He is the ultimate example of how to love/respect myself and how to love others, whether it is a friend, boyfriend, family member, or co-worker. We can all overcome daddy issues by reconnecting with the ultimate daddy, DADDY GOD.

I LOVE YOU,
Gabby

We Like to Partyyyyyy

"I may be young but i'm READYY.." ..If you finished these lyrics then you are familiar with the song "We Like to Party" by Baddie Bey. lol Oh to be young and carefree. This was the song that played at the start of many fun college nights. No, you won't find pictures of me and my girlfriends embarrassing our parents  in the streets (haha). I don't mean that kind of fun. I do mean fun nights that reminded me of the great freedom we have in our youth. We can hang out all night with no serious responsibilities, eat all the junk we want with little effect to our shapes, play silly games like hide and seek at 3am, or skip class to go the mall with the worst consequence being exhausted because you do all of these things at the expense of missing sleep.

Although youth is fun and exciting, there is something God wants us to know. Being young is not an excuse to forget out creator and it is not an excuse to live life how we want. God  doesn't ask Christian youth to live boring and stale, but he does ask us to acknowledge him and his greater purpose. Not only is it pleasing to him, but it creates for us a better life. When we let go of things or behaviors that we THINK we have to hold onto, he shows us why it is better to let those things go and protects us from our own demise.

Jesus said a quite radical statement in the New Testament. It was; "And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?" (Matthew 16:26). He was asking those who were listening to him to think about the purpose of their life here on earth.  If you are a spiritual being having an earthly experience, then this means our time here is temporary. He was asking spirits stuck in human bodies (until their release at death), why do you look at life so importantly when it is simply a preview of the unending life to come? He says, " Life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone" (James 4:14).

Through his speech he was attempting to enlighten the audience. He needed them to grasp on to the concept. Placing temporary things, experiences, and people above God was useless. Let me explain... God's purpose in creating humans was to have created beings, reproductions of his likeness, that he could give his love to. Like loving parents who create a child, they desire to create a legacy. They want a "mini-me" they can spoil and overwhelm with never ending , everlasting love. God created us to love but he didn't want to force his love upon us, so he lovingly created choice. 

The best choice we can make is choosing to accept the ultimate symbol of his love. That ultimate symbol is Christ. When we choose the world and all it offers above God, we devalue our purpose. We began to live life in a meaningless way. We perpetuate our own demise and are incapable of truly inspiring those around us. Those who refuse love can not share love. They fill them self with "feel goods"; money, sex, drugs, materialism, and fame. These all may be fun, but if they CONSUME YOU they are unsatisfying, temporary, selfish, and un-fulfilling. They lead to death on earth (spiritual, mental, and physical), and then to an everlasting death in hell if you don’t accept Christ to cover them.  He doesn't ask us to let go of these things to make us boring, but to help us live a life that is amazingly satisfied in him on earth and that prepares us for life in heaven with him as well. 

We can have fun and enjoy life, yes. He doesn’t ask us to live our years on earth bored, sick, and sad. He wants us to acknowledge him and realize he is the most important thing in life.  HE IS LIFE. That’s why in Romans 12, he ask us to renew our mind so that we can let go of societies wrong views on a successful life and grasp hold of his. Ecclesiastes 12:1 says, “Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, 'Life is not pleasant anymore.' Your real life is hidden in Christ, in God." (Colossians 3)

I remember being at a party celebrating the advancement of a friend with his company. I was excited and dancing but this thought came to my mind. Amidst all of the fun, how many people in here are truly miserable? How many people are attempting to drown their crappy life in drinks? How many are hoping this night won’t end so they can keep their mind off of their worries.  My fun was stifled with my care for lost souls and my desire to tell them about the true meaning of life. My desire to share that true joy is in knowing your life is in Christ's hands. I want to share that no drug, person, or drink can give you peace. I have constant peace in every situation thanks to Christ and a sure spot in heaven eternally thanks to his blood that covers my sins of the past, present, and future.  I don’t purposefully take advantage of his grace but I make my life’s decisions based on these three thoughts. Does this please God? Does this positively affect my testimony and help me remain a godly example? And is this decision worth the after affects?

Use wisdom as you enjoy your youth. GO AGAINST THE GRAIN. You can stand out. You don’t have to follow everyone else. If God is calling you to change your lifestyle, then listen. He knows what is best and it will all be worth it in the end. Yes, there are things you might have to sacrifice, but again it’s worth it. Jesus calls us to be holy. Before you freak out, this doesn’t mean you have to turn into a monk, lol. When he asks for holiness, he asks us to accept his holy son which qualifies us as holy. This means all you have to do is surrender. Focus on him as he cuts and takes away the pieces of us that needs to die and produces fresh fruit in us. This fruit will illuminate our lives and touch those around us.  

So let this post cause you to think ...

What is your purpose? Why are you here? How can you allow God to transform your life?  What are you holding onto that is keeping you from surrendering to God? What are you afraid of?



Here I Gab..AGAIN,

Gabs

Why The One You Love Doesn't Love You Back

I am going to go ahead and say I am not an expert in this area. I can't pinpoint for you why the person you love doesn't love you back because there are a plethora of reasons why relationships don't go the way we intend. What I CAN do is talk about relationships where the love was mutual. This can help inadvertently enlighten us to why sometimes love is unrequited.

My mom and I were talking in the kitchen and she says, "Gab I wouldn't want to marry anyone else but your dad. He was perfect for me and one day you'll meet the one for you and he will blow your mind." I have heard the stories where she told me this one guy wanted to marry her but she did not want him, or where she thought a guy was the one but in the end, he was not. All of those experiences led her to the one that truly was for her, my dad. I can't help but laugh at these stories. I asked my dad ," How did you know mom was the one?" He said, "I saw her at church one day and I had this feeling like she was going to be my wife." *HAHAH it was love at first sight.. huh dad* Anyway, they both share similar encounters where this little voice inside *HolySpirit* spoke to them about the other and they eventually started dating. Five kids later and 25 years in... they are still best friends and in love.

OK, so for the rest of us fabulous people who are not living that "fairytale" lifestyle yet, why don't the ones we love, love us back and vice versa?

1. They are most likely not the one.

I am going to be a little transparent and I hope no one is offended, but I still have gentlemen attempt to date me who I have clearly told that I didn't want a relationship. They fell in love with some aspect of me, but I had absolutely no connection, attraction, or desire to be with them. Many women experience this. We date someone because at one point we had an interest. But when that interest died, you were ready to move on and they weren't. Let's be honest, it's because they are not the one and probably won't be.

If you care for a guy and he has made it clear he doesn't want a relationship, or he's stated he's not sure, YOU ARE JUST AN OPTION..walk away. You know you could probably be great for him, but if he cant appreciate you... MOVE ON, someone else will. When my mother met my dad , yes he was attracted to her beauty but even more so her godly spirit and goal driven demeanor. To this day, if my mom has a new bright idea for herself or the family, my dad trusts her godly instinct. He appreciates her passion to always have a task to fulfill and supports her 100%. He was the best match for her because his personality balances hers. My mom has such an artsy, creative, dramatic, outgoing personality (like me) and my dad is just SUPER chill. I think this is a great example of not worrying about the dating relationships that didn't work out. Prepare yourself for the ONE RELATIONSHIP with your future spouse that will.

2. It's not the right time.

 Now, we've heard those stories where a guy likes a girl and after years of goading, convincing, and pestering her she finally falls in love and they get married. :) This does happen but what you have to realize is that even if they did not start on the same page, they eventually ended on the same page. The girl finally caved in and loved the man back who had loved her all along, it just took time. Time for her to grow, mature, get fed up with the losers, and marry the right one. Sometimes it can be the guy who doesn't see the great girl who loves him, but then he realizes he can't be a bachelor forever, turns around, and sweeps her off her feet. What I need you to do is know the difference. Don't settle if your gut is telling you HE IS NOT THE ONE! Don't wait around for the one who doesn't care about you if there is someone who does. Sometimes love is a choice, not simply a feeling. I'm not saying make yourself love someone to get over the one you can't have. I'm just saying think, pray, and be wise about it all. Don't beg someone who doesn't want you to stay. Then you won't get the love you deserve! If you think your scenario is like the earlier examples I shared, where you both just need time before you get it right... then wait. Let that person grow apart from you. Don't wait too long and be sure you know when to let someone go.

3.You're being unrealistic.

This is like having a celebrity crush. It is loving someone who you know good and well will never be the one. Stay out of the clouds people. Don't let the media, society, and fairytale culture keep you from dating realistically. *example* If you have a great guy friend who treats you like a queen but you're in love with your married boss, KICK THE BOSS TO THE CURB and get with the single great guy friend. DUHHH... We live life on earth. Not on the set of a stupid and unrealistic love film. It's that simple.

Also, enjoy being single if that's the stage you are in right now life. I AM HAVING A BLAST. One day I will be happily consumed with a spouse, but today I only really have to focus on my personal goals and dreams. And that is cool with me. I don't have to check in with any significant other, I don't have to worry about both of our careers, I can be selfish with my weekends and spend it with my girls. One day it won't be like this and I will be grateful then like I am now. I am just saying try to enjoy every season of life. Enjoy where you are now, in this present moment!!

Lastly, if you let God guide your life you won't miss what he has for you. Even if you think you missed it, he works everything out for the better, for those who love him, and are called according to his purpose. Trust him. Don't fear being alone. He answers prayers and cares even about the little things you think are insignificant. So why wouldn't he care about your love life? 1 Peter 5:7 says "Cast all your anxiety's on him for he cares for you".

Do just that, place it on him because life's issues can be a lot to carry!

Love YOU,
Gabs

Why He Broke Your Heart

I remember telling a guy that I really liked, right before I stopped dating him, "I've never had my heart broken and you wont be the first". The truth is...I have had my heart broken before, but the severity of losing some one I cared for was never that bad due to Gods help in protecting my heart (Proverb 4:23). I took each relationship in stride and only gave a little of my heart at a time. For example, I knew it was important to keep some secrets to myself because secrets make you closer with someone, and everyone really doesn't deserve to be that close to me. Some people won't take care of your heart like you know it should be taken care of, so don't dive in emotionally so soon. Treasures never lay above ground waiting for you to spot them, they have to be dug out from deep within the earth. Your heart should be a treasure, only those who spend the time and effort should be able to reach it. I'm not talking about playing hard to get, I'm talking about being adamant about protecting your heart. Choose wisely who you give your heart to. Unfortunately, that is something people don't think enough about doing.

For those who have unfortunately been deeply heart broken, I feel for you. The pains in your chest, the lack of desire to eat, the sadness, and loneliness is all TEMPORARY. What's crazy is thinking that you'll never get over that person, because it is so untrue. You can definitely move on. If you don't torture yourself with what if's, scroll through old pics, and continuously bring that old flame up in conversation, you can get over it. I love the quotes that say," if it was meant to be it will be" and "don't worry about what could've and should've happened, because if it was meant to happen it would've." They are so true. As a believer, if you trust God to write your love story, then he will make sure you meet the right man at the right time and vice versa. When I look at friends I have consoled over the years who dealt with heart break, the hardest thing to get over is the memories. It's driving around town and seeing all of the places you used to go to and hearing a song and it reminding you of a time you both shared together, enjoying it. What is wild is the effect these memories have on the body. They can change your mood completely, if you let them. 

Stay away from questioning as well. The biggest question we ask ourselves when we are heartbroken is why. We ask why they left, why we had to leave, why couldn't we have worked it out, and the greatest question of all...why did this happen to me? Really, these why's are a waste of time if you know deep down inside it was a losing situation that should've ended. If you know you are the reason it ended (cheating, selfishness, etc.), then learn from your mistakes, apologize if you feel led to, and take strides to move on. Beyond being sad after a break up, I often feel a sense of peace. It's like a great exhale. Ahhh it's over. Finally. I don't have to fight this war I was having inward anymore or outward with the person i'm having issues with. If someone broke your heart, stay out of your own head and enter into the mindset that God will work it all out for you.

Ladies, know your worth. Don't ever let a man make you feel less than. You are a daughter of a King, deeply loved by God, and worth someone treating you right. STOP ACCEPTING LESS FROM THESE FELLAS BECAUSE YOU WANT SOMEBODY.  REALLY, MEN ONLY GO AS FAR AS YOU ALLOW.  SO EXPECT MORE FROM THOSE YOU DATE, HAVE STANDARDS!

Men who are reading, who you know how to treat a woman and you haven't found the right one yet, don't worry we are getting ourselves together. *wink* I'm bringing up this conversation so that we can all treat each other better in relationships! We are forgetting how to love and acting so selfishly and hurtful to one another. While I encourage my sisters to grow and think differently about dating, you fellas should go ahead and do the same.  Grow, push yourselves to be an example for the men that will eventually date your daughters! We'd greatly appreciate it:)

With Love,
Gabs

How Many Times I've Fell In Love

The first boy I fell in love with... ok, was infatuated with, was a basketball player from my rival high school. He was everything I did NOT need, and because my parents asked me not to date, I honored them and left the boy I couldn't help but swoon over alone. Eventually, I realized he was involved in a life I had no business partaking in. This bad boy basketball player was young and  lived pretty reckless. I was blinded by how cool I thought he was, but listening to my parents protected me from a heart ache, unplanned pregnancy, and unnecessary baggage. #grateful

The second boy I fell in love with... well, liked a whole bunch, was a guy I met my freshman year of college. He was cute, tall, drove a nice car, and took me out on nice dates.  So, I spent most of my time with him. Over time, we developed great feelings for each other. But like most young dating experiences, we did not work out because we didn't communicate what we wanted out of the relationship. I wanted a caring boyfriend and he wanted someone “easy” (if you know what I mean), and that lifestyle was definitely not me. So we ended our “situationship”. I call it that because we had a situation going on, we dated for a while and treated each other like boyfriend/girlfriend, but never placed titles on what we had. #POINTLESS #smh :)

The third boy I fell in love with hmmm..let me rephrase that, cared for deeply, was a guy I met my junior year of college. He was the son of a local preacher, intelligent, and extremely handsome. I thought we were a match made in heaven. Yet, we were not compatible at all. We clashed all of the time. He wasn’t that nice, was a little self absorbed, and did not want to seek God the way I wanted to seek God. Let me explain...when I say he didn’t seek God the way I wanted; he was a Christian, sat in a church every Sunday but did not want to grow. He thought he had it all figured out, but lacked compassion. He was not interested in godly conversation and called me super holy because I actually wanted to live out what the bible says. I wanted God to lead our relationship, not the flesh. I said "bye buddy" to him after I understood it would never work if we weren't both on the same page spiritually.

Now, how many times did I think I was in love? *laughing right now* After having shared those little snippets from my amazing love life (lol) I want to talk about what remained a saving grace for me in these situations and others.  My saving grace was listening to godly wisdom and  letting every guy I dated know I was saving myself for marriage.  THIS SAVED ME FROM SO MUCH TROUBLE.  I was able to clearly see each relationship for what it was without tangling myself in unnecessary emotions! I was not clouded and it was easy to detach myself from a relationship that was headed toward demise. 

 TRUE LOVE WAITS. I know that phrase is cliché but it is true. A man who really loves you and cares for you will care about the things you care about and will desire to uphold you ..and vice versa. That is if this is your desire..to wait. He will want to take care of your heart and will understand the best way to love you is to become your friend first.  A godly man will desire to guide and help hold you accountable in your Christian walk, not to make you stray. Abstinence was and still is the best decision I've ever made because it protects me. I was able to walk away without severe damage to my heart because I kept what God intended for marriage to myself. I did not give my body to someone who was temporary and did not cloud my judgment of my situations because of sex. 

I feel whole after I leave and to be honest...quite dignified. I never feel like something is missing because I've found complete satisfaction in Christ. When God ask us to do something in the Bible, I have learned it is not to stop our fun or keep us from enjoying life, it is actually to make our lives better. Remaining abstinent allowed me to see past the smooth talking, the nice cars, good looks, and stature. I was not clouded, soul-tied, overly emotional, or apprehensive to leave a guy who was not good for me because I was connected to God and tried to obey him. His voice leads us for a reason.

I AM NOT CONDEMNING ANYONE WHO HAS OR IS PARTAKING IN PREMARITAL SEX. I AM JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THE BENEFITS OF ABSTINENCE I HAVE SEEN IN MY LIFE, IN HOPES THAT IT WILL HELP YOU.

When we date,we give too much of ourselves and wonder why we are broken in the end. It's because we choose to date like the world says date, and that kind of dating is TRASH. If you're not one of the lucky people who meets their soul mate without kissing a bunch of frogs first, you're like most of every one else who participates in multiple dead-end relationships that actually do nothing but help you practice for divorce. We weren't meant to move in and out of relationships. It doesn't do anything but help us learn to leave. How do we learn to stay and work things out with the right one, if all we do is practice leaving "the wrong ones" all the time. That is why if you have read my post titled "Why I Hate Dating", I have chosen to change my perspective on dating. Every guy is a friend until I hear God say we can be more. So far, he hasn't opened my eyes to anyone so I am happily single. I can say I'm happy because when I do meet "the one", he wont have too many bags to unpack from my past because I saved my true love and affection for him.

IF you are practicing abstinence GO YOU..KEEP GOING..YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
IF you'd like to start it is not too late. First let God mend the broken places, if you feel you need healing, talk to God and let him know what you need from him. Then get into your word! Read his word everyday and let it wash/heal you. The holy spirit will guide you if you earnestly seek him. I like to say "Lord speak to me" and then I'm lead to read a scripture that will speak to the day. After I read, I write in a journal about what I learned, how I can apply it to my day, and write a prayer. 

After you run to the word, other ways you can start practicing abstinence is by not participating in conversations that lead your mind to wonder. Be careful about what you watch or read so that you aren't allowing certain images/thoughts lead you to temptation. Have an accountability partner that you can call on when you feel you might fail. Stay away from situations in which you know can lead you to stray away from staying abstinent. Lastly, DON'T STRESS ABOUT IT. Just focus on Christ love for you and his word and eventually it will become easier to trust him and remain true to your new course. Don't focus on what you're trying not to do, because that wont help! Focus on the freedom God provides, his peace, and how his holy spirit will help you do the right thing if you desire to do so.

Happy side note: My parents have been married for over 20 years now and so have most of their married friends. These are some of the values they held onto while dating and look at how successful their relationships are to this day!....ANYWAY,  HERE I GAB AGAIN...


Love you Lots! xo
Gab